- a direct answer "Yes". I lived all my life practicing proper talking and proper manners. and that includes loosing a bit to speak up or express myself in situations where I, somewhat, disagree to something. It's a way of saying "It's better to shut up than say something improper."

This dilemma occurs when I talk to elders, particularly my teachers, high-ups and my friends. I can't go around blabbering my opinion when it's against them. It's like saying they're wrong, and for me, as a younger person with less experience, is like a manifestation of disrespect and 'disrespect' is very taboo for me.

Our family is very well known in our city due to our so-called 'financial status'. Whenever people hear my family name, they have 2 first impressions. 1.) "Are you part of the family who owns a part of the city" or 2.) "hahaha... your family name is the same as the baranggay in the north." awkward, right? Wherever i go and meet up new friends in this city, i always end up being compared to them by themselves. I'm tired of making worthless excuses, that wouldn't even make their impressions on me change. Sometimes, they say "Hey Trish! You should do this because you're the one who has a lot of money." I always reply with a mild laugh or a fake smile but those words always get on my nerves. Yes, i just keep quiet. I don't want people to look at me because of my family name. I don't want to be used as a 'money bank'. Somehow, i can't express myself through words and explain everything to them so, I'd rather cry myself to sleep than cry in front of them and waste my time saying things that never changes anything.

I'm known as person with a strong sense of conscience though. When it comes to the point where I make someone mad, I wont go out and nag around saying that he/she has no right to be angry, but rather I go to him/her and ask for apology for making him/her feel bad. --i know, too good to be true, right?--.

I'm not good with words when It comes to speaking up directly. But i'm used to it. That is why, I really love writing and I can write what my heart yields, be it positive or negative. As long as I have my pen and paper, I can express every little thing I have in mind.